Heart Strings

I have a prayer request.  The chemo medicine that I am still supposed to take for a year has the potential to cause heart damage.  This past week, I started getting swollen feet and ankles, which is one of the symptoms of heart issues.  (I thought I was done with canckles after Michael was born.  I guess not.  Hee hee.)  Anyway, I have been having other weird symptoms here and there that could or could not be linked to heart problems.  The nurse said today that it could just be residual effects from my last chemo treatment.  I am going in this Wednesday morning for an echo cardiogram, and so I wanted to ask you all to please pray that my heart would be strong and healthy. 

This weekend, when I got to thinking about having issues with my heart, all those fears came rushing back at me with full force.  The enemy just doesn’t give up does he?  Doesn’t he know he is defeated already??  Anyway, it just amazed me how strong those fears could hit me again.  But this time around I was able to fight faster and stronger than before.  I had just been doing so well physically lately that it was almost like I let my guard down for a moment.  It was a good reminder for me that this battle I am in is never over, not even after they tell me the cancer is all gone.  I had a really cool revelation today.  Needless to say, this heart stuff has still been on my mind just from talking about it with family, picking up medicine they called in for me, looking at my fat ankles while having my feet propped up.  So this morning, in the car on the way to work, I was singing the song “Hosanna” and part of the song says “Heal my heart and make it clean, Open up my eyes to the things unseen, Show me how to love like you have loved me.  Break my heart from what breaks yours, Everything I am for your kingdoms cause, As I go from nothing to Eternity.”  And it dawned on me that I was singing about my heart.  And I thought…how cool is that?  My heart is His, and it is whole, and if it is going to break, it’s going to break for Him.  Then again tonight I was listening to worship music, and singing the song “Forever Reign” and part of the song says “My heart will sing no other name…Jesus.”  And once again, it dawned on me that I was singing about my heart.  And once again I thought…how cool is that?  And then as I have been listening to worship music throughout the rest of the night, it seems like every other song has some lyrics about the heart.  And now as I am sitting here typing this, I am thinking that it feels as though God has been singing over me all day.  Singing over my heart.  Singing to my heart.  And my heart is just overtaken with peace.  There is no love like God’s love.  I feel like my heart could explode with joy in knowing God.  Check out this verse from Zephaniah 3:17 “THE LORD YOUR GOD IS IN YOUR MIDST, A MIGHTY ONE WHO WILL SAVE; HE WILL REJOICE OVER YOU WITH GLADNESS; HE WILL QUIET YOU WITH HIS LOVE; HE WILL EXULT OVER YOUR WITH LOUD SINGING.”   I just can’t hold back the tears after reading that.