Side Effects

I think I am hitting a low point in the chemo cycle.  They call it a "nadir" which means the point where your white and red blood cell counts are at a lowest, so you feel the crummiest.  I went in to work yesterday for a half day, and I started to feel pretty bad by the time I left there.  The worst part so far has been my stomach.  It hurts so bad all the time.  So please pray for my stomach to feel better, and please rebuke all these nasty side effects!  Yesterday they told me to go get some over the counter medicine to "help" and it made me feel worse.  I ended up having severe cramps and the room was spinning all night.  It was awful.  Today has been more of the same.  I still get body aches and I'm very tired, but the stomach aches are by far the worst part.  When I get to feeling really bad, I keep thinking that as bad as I feel right now, that cancer has got to be feeling bad too!  My mom was reading me a book yesterday that said something so profound.  It said that even though, there are all these bad side effects from chemo and cancer, that one of the greatest side effects is that it brings a person into a realization of their mortality, which leads to a deeper, more meaningful life.  He wasn't saying this as a Christian, but how true this is for me as a Christian.  I consider it a priveledge that becuase I have gone through this, I will  never look at my life the same, and that already I am closer to God than I have ever been.  The promises of God are that much sweeter now that they have been proven true in this time of war in my life.  What an opportunity?  I wouldn't want it any other way! 

Philippians 3:12-16

 ¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:7-8

 ⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ