Beauty & The Beast

The past few days I have been feeling great!  I have little side effects here and there, like tingling in my fingers, but nothing major, and still no more of that stomach pain.  My hair is still hanging on, and I’m praying that it will not fall out before Gracie gets back this week.  I just don’t want her to come home after being gone for so long, and have her mommy look completely different.  I think that she will adjust better if she is there when I get my hair buzzed.  Plus, it will force me to hold it together for her sake.  I know this may sound crazy, but I’m not really dreading being bald.  I decided that if I keep dreading it, like it is going to be this awful experience, then it will be.  So I’ve been thinking about all of the benefits of having my head shaved.  I will spend a lot less time getting ready in the mornings, and my new hair will always be ready.  I’ll have lots of variety to choose from, and I can be a blonde, red head, or brunette, depending on my mood.  It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to see what my scalp looks like.  I have always wondered.  We will save tons of money on getting highlights and all my hair products.  I won’t have to shave my legs or pluck my eye brows.  And, most importantly, it’s good lesson in humility, and in appreciating true beauty, which is not determined by outward appearance.  And what a valuable lesson that will be for me to pass on to Gracie.  I have been gathering verses to write all over my mirrors.  Verses that remind me that I wear a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3).  Verses that remind me that the Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).  Verses that remind me that my beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather it should be that of my inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:3-4).  Verses that remind me to daily put on spiritual armor, which includes a belt of truth, a breastplate of righteousness, feet fitted with a readiness to spread the gospel, a helmet of salvation, a sword of the spirit, and shield of faith (Ephesians 6:10-17).  Who worries about their hair if they are already wearing a helmet?!  And need I mention Proverbs 31 - charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.  This is the legacy that I want to leave my daughter.  I thank the Lord that He is giving me the opportunity to be tested in this, and to overcome.  I was sharing a lot of this the other day with Jonni, and of course the very next day I started breaking out all over my face, and got a big ol zit on my forehead!  Ha!  But truly, I am thankful.