Background

A few months ago, I started to notice that something didn't feel right, so I went to the doctor to get checked, and long story short, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I had an MRI last Wednesday, and the results stated that the cancer was only in one breast, and had not spread to my chest wall muscles, but that there is an indication that the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes.  As a result, we have discussed that within the next few weeks, we would need to do a double mastectomy, and that they will also take out several of my lymph nodes.  They said they won't know for sure if the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes until they remove them and get result from the biopsy. They said that if the cancer has not spread to my lymph nodes, then the mastectomy and maybe a little radiation would take care of the cancer in my breast, but if the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes that further testing would be required, along with chemotherapy, etc.  I am supposed to talk with more doctors this coming week to finalize all of the plans.  So medically speaking, that is all that I know as of today.

I said "medically speaking" because there is ofcourse another side of my story that is completely spiritual.  Anyone who has been faced with matters of life and death knows how something like this can cause so much to stir in your spirit and soul.  I can say that since all this has happened, I have never felt closer to God, and I have never been so sure that He is real, and that His promises are true.  God has given me so much supernatural peace throughout all of this, and I am not afraid of what is going to happen.  Jonni and I were talking tonight, and we were saying that sometimes people put way too much emphasis on the temporal things of this life, and spend much less time focusing on what lasts forever and the things that really matter.  I have asked so many questions about faith and healing since this has happened that I never asked before, and I have asked for God to heal me.  I believe that God is my healer, and that he wants me to be healed, and that Jesus took my sickness on the cross.  But at the same time, I have prayed that through this time I would come to know and love and serve Him more than ever before, because I know that the condition of  my spirit is of far greater importance than whether or not this body of mine, which will one day wither and decay, is healed.  So my main focus during this time is to draw nearer to Him, so that I may know Him more, and that whoever would read this blog would seek to know him more too.  I received a devotional on my phone the day that I was diagnosed with cancer, and it said that all the trials of this life are sent to strengthen and prove our faith.  I want faith that is tried and true!  There is so much more in my heart to share about what has happened spiritually in the last two weeks, and what God has already done, but there is just not enough time to write it all now.  More to come. 

I want to reiterate my thanks to so many people.  I have never in my life felt more loved and covered in prayer than I do now.  My heart is so full of thankfulness to those who have stepped in during this time and blessed me and my family in some way.  I would go through everyone's name so that you could be acknowledged  individually, but there have been so many people  that I am afraid I would forget someone.  If you are reading this blog, you are probably one of those people, so thank you.  All of the phone calls, text messages, and emails have meant more than you can possibly know.  So many people have started prayer chains, and added me to prayer lists, and prayed with me personally.  Already, people have helped take care of the children during appointments, visited with us, brought food, etc.  So many more have offered to help us with the children, to take care of me when I am recovering from surgury, to bring us meals, to take me to appointments, to clean my home, and the list goes on.  I have been so blessed by the people that I work with.  I can't say how much it means to work with people that truly care, people that tear up when you tell them what you are going through, people that have donated vacation to me so that I would have more time to recover, people that have gladly offered to cover my work while I have to be out, people that have prayed with me and send me big and little gifts and letters to let me know that they care.  I want to thank my husband for being such a rock and a support for me during this time.  Thank you for your faith and your counsel, which inspires me to keep pushing in deeper to God.  And thank you for keeping my laughing through all of this.  You are my closest friend and I am so blessed to be your wife.